It's been an amazing 3 weeks of semester so far...

I've been both busier than ever before and happier than ever before at uni... it's quite shocking really.

It's so funny that I had a list of all the things I thought I'd make sure to do and not do when I finally found someone, which has completely gone out the window more or less. How ridiculous to think that I alone could set the ground rules and things worth doing for something that involves two people. I'm also finding it shocking that her friends are impressed with what I've been doing. I don't think I've done any more than I should've, and yet it sounds as though I have.

I'm quite happy with the subjects I'm doing this semester. Although they may be pretty intense, they're exactly the sort of things that made me want to study psychology in the first place, so perhaps it's apt that I end my 3rd year with them.

I still don't quite know what lies in my future... but I do get the feeling that it'll all come together. I get the feeling that what's happening right now is truly part of the plan. Not mine of course, but as I've found out, it's not my plans that matter. Not when you love and are loved by someone. When that happens, it always takes two... and it doesn't matter if you know where you're going anymore.

I did practically nothing and struck lucky. Very lucky. Makes me wonder what I did to deserve it.

It's been an eventful past couple of weeks. Exams, more exams, sleeplessness followed by voluntary sleeplessness. But I've had some very good moments in the comfort of my own home.

As you can see, my posts are not getting longer. I'm sorry. This is about all I can manage in this barely-alive blog.

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately. I think I'm beginning to see the deeper meaning in a lot of things, which really helps with my impromptu praying (which apparently, is getting better).

I just wonder... where exactly should I go? I have all these things that I want to do, all these skills that I want to use, all these things that I want to tell the world, and I just don't know how I will.
I guess my laziness doesn't help either.

I'm just surprised at how well things fit together sometimes. It's like finding a key to a lock you never knew existed.

enough of being cryptic I suppose. I'll be off.

It's quite a scary thing being alive.

I think a lot of us are more scared of living than even death itself. This may sound absurd at first when we first reflect on it, but when you really think about it, there's some truth to that statement. We never truly know what will happen in the future, nor do we even know how much time we have left.

So we go about day by day, never truly appreciating life for what it is, allowing the days to go by like some chore. I am guilty of this too, and immensely so as of late.

Having met so many people, and seen so many stories everywhere, it is evident that society itself is forgetting how to live. We're all searching for the tiniest bit of happiness in our lives, but I think so many of us search in all the wrong places.

It doesn't take a psychology course for you to know that something is wrong with us. We're no longer comfortable being who we are. We desperately strive to be thin, to be rich, to be cool, to be everything that the world tells us we should be because we want to be happy. We run ourselves to the ground, trying to find that significant other we think will make us complete.

But that doesn't make sense. We're not made as half a person. No thing, and no one can make you complete. We already have everything we need, but we choose to put it all aside, like toys we're bored of, and we go in search for the very things that obscure exactly what we want.

I guess... the purpose of this is two-fold. To admit that sometimes, more often than I'd like, I'm scared too.
More importantly to ask: are we really living life the way it was meant to be lived.